nullified; answers; whatarethey , 2006-12-02 , 4:07 a.m.
there's a weariness in your smile. there's like a million reasons why are things happening the way they are. i don't know why has this web spun for me. the details of it are simply misinterpretable. there's like too many reasons behind it for me understand, or maybe even trying to comprehend. it becomes harder and harder when i start to lose most concentration as life continues to go on. i suppose it's the same for everyone. because everyone goes through the same period of life. although it seems a little absurd, i suppose all forms of life has their very own form of formation.
it becomes harder to adapt to such formation... when you start to lose yourself.
many a times anyone with a mind full of themselves, they tend to lose sight on many things. the beautiful things around them, instantly turns into dusk. when things like this happens, we start to lose our original nature, kindness and sincerity. slowly they become like a lie, a lie in the million years that will never be awakened, no matter how hard you are willing to try.
slowly i indulge in the beauty of philosophy, because everything in philosophy starts to make sense.
suddenly a strong realisation hits me, telling me that...
" The world you're living in, is a corrupted beauty, hidden behind with many scars. "
slowly it becomes like a tale of many relieves. because philosophy becomes an answer to many things that people cannot explain. this becomes like a miracle heal to many things. thereafter which many people has taken after for.
let time heal.
things will fade away with time.
such kind pain will diminish with time.
impressive lines, sounds curable. but honestly, they can do nothing.
with each stab in the heart, will time really heal it? or will time only stop the bleeding, but leave a scar forever? what is an answer to that? maybe nobody can give. maybe nobody has the right to give?
i'm slowly turning numb of emotions that reside in pain to my life. every night becomes a process whereby everything has never changed. when will things really be changed? or maybe when will things really start to change.
slowly the answer becomes obliviously unclear for anyone to answer. the answer that people think it comes by easily is suddenly lost in the mist. people wonder why, people question why. people walk day in day out of your life asking you why... but i suppose other than dumbfounded, no answer given right?
nullified. everything reverts back to zero. you came back to where you started. time wasted. time ventured.
zero. you come back to your starting point.
the treatment that has been sought after becomes pretty vague now. i think slowly such treatment will be forgotten with time, moreover with anything else. i don't see a future without an answer. but what if i can't give myself an answer to many things? i suppose i lose my own future too?
the rainbow beyond the canvas. it seems very far doesn't it?
the sunshine beyond the mountains. it seems unreachable too right?
so what is touchable and reachable?
the future in your hands becomes vaguely understandable. slowly i lose myself again.
i feed on tranquilisers today. thanks doctor.
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left , untold , pain , sorrow
2007*
2007-05-09 -- goodbye . my love
2007-05-01 -- name analysis is bullshit
2007-04-29 -- walkon
2007-04-26 -- SEX can overcome ALL features
2007-03-31 -- vapourise;
2007-03-27 -- mother.creeping-nature
2007-03-10 -- inochi-style
2007-03-01 -- i.Hateyou
2007-02-25 -- SMD*
2007-01-26 -- dadahouse;bugsbunny
2007-01-24 -- [ kharma ]
2007-01-19 -- rawr*~
2007-01-04 -- hijak*
2006*
2006-12-09 -- Ton-ning;overheat.
2006-12-08 -- clear broads.
2006-12-06 -- opium;weed;drugs on high maintanence
2006-12-03 -- UKAT.268bpm
2006-12-02 -- nullified; answers; whatarethey
2006-11-26 -- ohmyhomies...
2006-11-14 -- my heartbeat stopped.
2006-11-12 -- newsflash
2006-11-07 -- The Fool I am
2006-11-03 -- dissipating mirage
2006-11-01 -- piece after piece
2006-09-28 -- i.resolutionary
2006-09-02 -- rapid dysfunctionality
2006-08-17 -- SleepRampage
2006-08-13 -- Blame >>> the fireworks
2006-07-30 -- Tranquility; Over-
2006-07-14 -- Jack in the Box
2006-07-13 -- Journey; Round about the Mulberry
2006-07-13 -- Illusionary; A Flaw in a Dream
2006-07-02 -- Prevail the Ignorance, dance of eternity
2006-06-11 -- Rip Roll Soil
2006-06-10 -- pluie et abri
2006-06-08 -- espoirs.dévorés
2006-05-15 -- The ugly canvas in the beautiful scene.
2006-05-06 -- mère
2006-05-04 -- abayo........
2006-05-02 -- Joke of the Century
2006-03-19 -- dream : legacy : tarot
2006-03-19 -- DMC layout.
2006-03-12 -- The power of Time ---
2006-03-10 -- In a world of individualism.........
2006-02-26 -- ** ningyou-jigoku
2006-01-31 -- *tainted canvas
2006-01-22 -- subete
2006-01-21 -- Ano Basho : Ano Hyaku-Yen Mise
2006-01-21 -- reunion
2005*
2005-12-21 -- i'm the sinner
2005-12-06 -- shopping like a gay
2005-12-04 -- health deteoriation
2005-11-27 -- nonsensical being sick
2005-11-23 -- sumimasen
2005-11-14 -- i am still me.
2005-11-05 -- FYI, i'm not dead yet.
2005-10-13 -- gone, forever.
2005-09-29 -- sweet, bitter vengeance
2005-09-27 -- last call
2005-09-20 -- word of the day :
2005-09-20 -- Neutrino. Neutrino. Bye. Bye.
2005-09-17 -- fuck your silly pea-brains.
2005-09-11 -- me = bandit
2005-09-07 -- betrayed and fuck your ass
2005-08-25 -- a broken toy
2005-08-17 -- imouto...... -chan.
2005-08-10 -- flew
2005-08-05 -- fuck your inside-out happiness
2005-08-04 -- utter speechless
2005-08-02 -- realization.
2005-08-01 -- cafe tarot
2005-07-19 -- rain and cigarettes
2005-07-14 -- life's like that
2005-07-13 -- image : original MAKO
2005-07-08 -- stupid bag
2005-07-05 -- answer, please.
2005-07-01 -- saku : to tear, to split
2005-07-01 -- get lost
2005-06-30 -- frozen
2005-06-29 -- understood-ed
2005-06-25 -- gackt and miyavi
2005-06-23 -- mako and insanity II
2005-06-23 -- mako and insanity I
2005-06-08 -- singapore street festival 2005
2005-05-30 -- first day
2005-05-23 -- boredom
2005-05-18 -- 24 hours template
2005-05-16 -- blood yaoi
2005-05-10 -- die
2005-04-14 -- virus attack
2005-04-07 -- renaissance__
2005-04-02 -- getting better
2005-04-01 -- about today...
2005-03-15 -- st. white valentines'
2005-03-11 -- madness in me
2005-03-08 -- to the bestie in this school
2005-03-03 -- in reflection to you
2005-02-19 -- refresh this page
2005-02-17 -- blinded bishie
2005-02-16 -- temporary measures
2005-02-02 -- my forum
2005-01-31 -- question
2005-01-17 -- procrastinating
2005-01-12 -- bread and baker
2005-01-10 -- shit happens everyday
2005-01-06 -- [quizzes]
2005-01-01 -- best-written
2004*
2004-12-29 -- love and hate
2004-12-27 -- baka matsuri
2004-12-22 -- spam-bot
2004-12-20 -- no idea
2004-12-16 -- home
2004-12-14 -- insanity
2004-12-13 -- missing you......
2004-12-08 -- progress
2004-12-02 -- me against the world
2004-11-29 -- hatred grows every minute every second everyday
2004-11-26 -- sicked
2004-11-08 -- recently.. .....................
2004-10-31 -- passion destruction
2004-10-28 -- showdown
2004-10-25 -- death.
2004-10-20 -- *spams*
2004-10-14 -- ill and bitching
2004-10-08 -- leisure
2004-10-06 -- insomnia
2004-10-01 -- insatiable love insanity
2004-09-27 -- Suck Me.
2004-09-17 -- Quote of the Day.
2004-09-15 -- meaningless
2004-09-11 -- back
2004-08-21 -- raiko, i give you this.
2004-08-20 -- busy
2004-08-14 -- -enkephalin-
2004-08-12 -- bus. i hate buses.
2004-08-10 -- don't hide. it's for you.
2004-08-07 -- friends. guaranteed with assurance.
2004-08-05 -- Today is unusual.
2004-07-26 -- Shudders.
2004-07-22 -- Nemesis... no more?
2004-07-17 -- when it's still fresh in mind...
2004-07-15 -- kuri-kaesu
2004-07-15 -- She's back... to me.
2004-07-12 -- I feel you coming.
2004-07-11 -- -i'm tired-
2004-07-10 -- Once again.. new layout.
2004-07-08 -- Would I have to....?
2004-07-05 -- lousy.whinny.sissy.
2004-07-01 -- Mother Fucker.
2004-06-29 -- Ignorance is Bliss
2004-06-18 -- Adjustments.
2004-06-12 -- A departure.
2004-06-03 -- To those who might concern...
2004-05-23 -- Don't Ask.
2004-05-22 -- Nothing..
2004-05-13 -- Reassurance
2004-04-30 -- Ureshi
2004-04-28 -- This is not me...
2004-04-26 -- Stressed... again....
2004-04-24 -- The Loved will be Remembered.
2004-04-16 -- Suicidal...
2004-04-13 -- The Day Arrives...
2004-04-06 -- Kurai no Sekai.
2004-04-05 -- Utsukushii no Tsuki.
2004-03-30 -- Crashed.
2004-03-23 -- Last Night...
2004-03-16 -- The Predicted Future.
2004-03-12 -- Headache.
2004-03-05 -- Lies.
2004-03-02 -- I Wish.
2004-02-21 -- Tired. And Battered.
2004-02-16 -- ...Kurushin.
2004-02-10 -- Poisoned
2004-02-04 -- KOF Sharings.
2004-02-03 -- Stained Freedom
2004-01-30 -- The Wicked Rose(Archive)
2004-01-20 -- Prayers of the Heart
2004-01-15 -- School sucks.
2004-01-10 -- The Outing
2003*
2003-12-29 -- Smile-less Me.
2003-12-27 -- Heretic Hell.
2003-12-19 -- Dedication
2003-12-15 -- My Simple Life
2003-12-03 -- Worthiness
2003-11-21 -- Behaviours.
2003-11-17 -- Romance(????)
2003-11-10 -- Fury. Angst. Chaos.
2003-11-07 -- Fears.
2003-11-06 -- Tomorrow's Memory.
2003-11-05 -- Blessed Beliefs.
2003-11-01 -- Inexistence.
2003-10-27 -- Selfish isn't it?
2003-10-25 -- ...Her...and her story....
2003-10-22 -- Time, game for the change?
2003-10-21 -- So much so for now.....
2003-10-20 -- Having thoughts about it.....
2003-10-19 -- The Final Stop.........
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credits , author
touran @ http://xluvemorie.blogspot.com
© copyrighted 2003 - 2007
goodbye . lost memories . companion . imissyou
everything goes back to diaryland
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