espoirs.dévorés , 2006-06-08 , 2:56 p.m.
I should be on my way to meet my friends but instead I'm here blogging trash once again. I don't know when was the last time I actually blogged this but then again, it doesn't really matter anymore because nobody reads.
I feel like a fool. A fool foolishly believing that something good will happen if you just believe and hope for it. When I believe that things are going to get better in every way, it seems like luck has deserted me and sank me right down to the ocean floor once more.
For a moment, I thought I am going to die.
Then I realise...
You ain't gonna die unless you want to.
Simple. I think my time is not up yet, or maybe I'm just a cowadice to die. It seems like whatever is happening now is just a test to see how far can I proceed in the future. It's not something very bad, neither is it pleasing in any ways.
However it becomes a shortwave fact that, if I wanna die, I could have die that ages ago.
The fact is... I don't wanna die unaccomplished.
Maybe when I have at least accomplished one of the my to-do list, then I can die peacefully.
However if someone is going to stop me from advancing, I think it's time to exterminate all the emotions and get matters done. I have a life to lead on. No matter how much I hate this place I still need to live in it.
Until the day I can really retire from this place, then I shall be able to live in my dream, and in the legacy that I want to leave behind.
It's not hard to write it down. It's only hard when you put your hands to do it.
I have all my setbacks in my life to make me fall if I have to. When the time really extinguishes before my life is up, then maybe I'll go with the flow.
The blood will run dry someday... better make full use of it now.
As I paved the way into the Hall of Fame, you will pay a price to get there.
I will pay whatever it takes to do it. I have only my life once.
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left , untold , pain , sorrow
2007*
2007-05-09 -- goodbye . my love
2007-05-01 -- name analysis is bullshit
2007-04-29 -- walkon
2007-04-26 -- SEX can overcome ALL features
2007-03-31 -- vapourise;
2007-03-27 -- mother.creeping-nature
2007-03-10 -- inochi-style
2007-03-01 -- i.Hateyou
2007-02-25 -- SMD*
2007-01-26 -- dadahouse;bugsbunny
2007-01-24 -- [ kharma ]
2007-01-19 -- rawr*~
2007-01-04 -- hijak*
2006*
2006-12-09 -- Ton-ning;overheat.
2006-12-08 -- clear broads.
2006-12-06 -- opium;weed;drugs on high maintanence
2006-12-03 -- UKAT.268bpm
2006-12-02 -- nullified; answers; whatarethey
2006-11-26 -- ohmyhomies...
2006-11-14 -- my heartbeat stopped.
2006-11-12 -- newsflash
2006-11-07 -- The Fool I am
2006-11-03 -- dissipating mirage
2006-11-01 -- piece after piece
2006-09-28 -- i.resolutionary
2006-09-02 -- rapid dysfunctionality
2006-08-17 -- SleepRampage
2006-08-13 -- Blame >>> the fireworks
2006-07-30 -- Tranquility; Over-
2006-07-14 -- Jack in the Box
2006-07-13 -- Journey; Round about the Mulberry
2006-07-13 -- Illusionary; A Flaw in a Dream
2006-07-02 -- Prevail the Ignorance, dance of eternity
2006-06-11 -- Rip Roll Soil
2006-06-10 -- pluie et abri
2006-06-08 -- espoirs.dévorés
2006-05-15 -- The ugly canvas in the beautiful scene.
2006-05-06 -- mère
2006-05-04 -- abayo........
2006-05-02 -- Joke of the Century
2006-03-19 -- dream : legacy : tarot
2006-03-19 -- DMC layout.
2006-03-12 -- The power of Time ---
2006-03-10 -- In a world of individualism.........
2006-02-26 -- ** ningyou-jigoku
2006-01-31 -- *tainted canvas
2006-01-22 -- subete
2006-01-21 -- Ano Basho : Ano Hyaku-Yen Mise
2006-01-21 -- reunion
2005*
2005-12-21 -- i'm the sinner
2005-12-06 -- shopping like a gay
2005-12-04 -- health deteoriation
2005-11-27 -- nonsensical being sick
2005-11-23 -- sumimasen
2005-11-14 -- i am still me.
2005-11-05 -- FYI, i'm not dead yet.
2005-10-13 -- gone, forever.
2005-09-29 -- sweet, bitter vengeance
2005-09-27 -- last call
2005-09-20 -- word of the day :
2005-09-20 -- Neutrino. Neutrino. Bye. Bye.
2005-09-17 -- fuck your silly pea-brains.
2005-09-11 -- me = bandit
2005-09-07 -- betrayed and fuck your ass
2005-08-25 -- a broken toy
2005-08-17 -- imouto...... -chan.
2005-08-10 -- flew
2005-08-05 -- fuck your inside-out happiness
2005-08-04 -- utter speechless
2005-08-02 -- realization.
2005-08-01 -- cafe tarot
2005-07-19 -- rain and cigarettes
2005-07-14 -- life's like that
2005-07-13 -- image : original MAKO
2005-07-08 -- stupid bag
2005-07-05 -- answer, please.
2005-07-01 -- saku : to tear, to split
2005-07-01 -- get lost
2005-06-30 -- frozen
2005-06-29 -- understood-ed
2005-06-25 -- gackt and miyavi
2005-06-23 -- mako and insanity II
2005-06-23 -- mako and insanity I
2005-06-08 -- singapore street festival 2005
2005-05-30 -- first day
2005-05-23 -- boredom
2005-05-18 -- 24 hours template
2005-05-16 -- blood yaoi
2005-05-10 -- die
2005-04-14 -- virus attack
2005-04-07 -- renaissance__
2005-04-02 -- getting better
2005-04-01 -- about today...
2005-03-15 -- st. white valentines'
2005-03-11 -- madness in me
2005-03-08 -- to the bestie in this school
2005-03-03 -- in reflection to you
2005-02-19 -- refresh this page
2005-02-17 -- blinded bishie
2005-02-16 -- temporary measures
2005-02-02 -- my forum
2005-01-31 -- question
2005-01-17 -- procrastinating
2005-01-12 -- bread and baker
2005-01-10 -- shit happens everyday
2005-01-06 -- [quizzes]
2005-01-01 -- best-written
2004*
2004-12-29 -- love and hate
2004-12-27 -- baka matsuri
2004-12-22 -- spam-bot
2004-12-20 -- no idea
2004-12-16 -- home
2004-12-14 -- insanity
2004-12-13 -- missing you......
2004-12-08 -- progress
2004-12-02 -- me against the world
2004-11-29 -- hatred grows every minute every second everyday
2004-11-26 -- sicked
2004-11-08 -- recently.. .....................
2004-10-31 -- passion destruction
2004-10-28 -- showdown
2004-10-25 -- death.
2004-10-20 -- *spams*
2004-10-14 -- ill and bitching
2004-10-08 -- leisure
2004-10-06 -- insomnia
2004-10-01 -- insatiable love insanity
2004-09-27 -- Suck Me.
2004-09-17 -- Quote of the Day.
2004-09-15 -- meaningless
2004-09-11 -- back
2004-08-21 -- raiko, i give you this.
2004-08-20 -- busy
2004-08-14 -- -enkephalin-
2004-08-12 -- bus. i hate buses.
2004-08-10 -- don't hide. it's for you.
2004-08-07 -- friends. guaranteed with assurance.
2004-08-05 -- Today is unusual.
2004-07-26 -- Shudders.
2004-07-22 -- Nemesis... no more?
2004-07-17 -- when it's still fresh in mind...
2004-07-15 -- kuri-kaesu
2004-07-15 -- She's back... to me.
2004-07-12 -- I feel you coming.
2004-07-11 -- -i'm tired-
2004-07-10 -- Once again.. new layout.
2004-07-08 -- Would I have to....?
2004-07-05 -- lousy.whinny.sissy.
2004-07-01 -- Mother Fucker.
2004-06-29 -- Ignorance is Bliss
2004-06-18 -- Adjustments.
2004-06-12 -- A departure.
2004-06-03 -- To those who might concern...
2004-05-23 -- Don't Ask.
2004-05-22 -- Nothing..
2004-05-13 -- Reassurance
2004-04-30 -- Ureshi
2004-04-28 -- This is not me...
2004-04-26 -- Stressed... again....
2004-04-24 -- The Loved will be Remembered.
2004-04-16 -- Suicidal...
2004-04-13 -- The Day Arrives...
2004-04-06 -- Kurai no Sekai.
2004-04-05 -- Utsukushii no Tsuki.
2004-03-30 -- Crashed.
2004-03-23 -- Last Night...
2004-03-16 -- The Predicted Future.
2004-03-12 -- Headache.
2004-03-05 -- Lies.
2004-03-02 -- I Wish.
2004-02-21 -- Tired. And Battered.
2004-02-16 -- ...Kurushin.
2004-02-10 -- Poisoned
2004-02-04 -- KOF Sharings.
2004-02-03 -- Stained Freedom
2004-01-30 -- The Wicked Rose(Archive)
2004-01-20 -- Prayers of the Heart
2004-01-15 -- School sucks.
2004-01-10 -- The Outing
2003*
2003-12-29 -- Smile-less Me.
2003-12-27 -- Heretic Hell.
2003-12-19 -- Dedication
2003-12-15 -- My Simple Life
2003-12-03 -- Worthiness
2003-11-21 -- Behaviours.
2003-11-17 -- Romance(????)
2003-11-10 -- Fury. Angst. Chaos.
2003-11-07 -- Fears.
2003-11-06 -- Tomorrow's Memory.
2003-11-05 -- Blessed Beliefs.
2003-11-01 -- Inexistence.
2003-10-27 -- Selfish isn't it?
2003-10-25 -- ...Her...and her story....
2003-10-22 -- Time, game for the change?
2003-10-21 -- So much so for now.....
2003-10-20 -- Having thoughts about it.....
2003-10-19 -- The Final Stop.........
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credits , author
touran @ http://xluvemorie.blogspot.com
© copyrighted 2003 - 2007
goodbye . lost memories . companion . imissyou
everything goes back to diaryland
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